Archive for May, 2012
Cory Booker : With friends like him, who needs enemies? He can’t figure out what the big deal is: All he did was volunteer to speak as a surrogate for Pres. Obama’s campaign, and when then went on national tv and said that Pres. Obama campaign makes him puke. What’s that big deal????
Well, Cory Booker calls in to explain that if you believe what he said on Meet The Press then you are mistaken. What he really meant to say was the opposite of what he actually said on TV. Its kind of like a really complicated form of Pig Latin– just remember that whenever you hear Cory Booker talking on national TV he is really meaning the opposite of whatever he is saying.
Willard “Mitt” Romney doesn’t want to say the name Geroge Bush, or more precisely, “bush”, and instead refers to Geroge W Bush as Obama’s “Predecessor”, and does it in a way that is unwittingly hilarious.
He calls in and proclaims how happy he is that Cory Booker stuck a knife in the back of the Obama campaign by defending Bain Capitol.
Ron Paul calls in and it just seems that no matter the topic, Ron Paul can’t help but be unwittingly hilarious about it. This week Ron talks about the MIssissippi
abortion bill that makes abortions financially inaccessible to poor women. And somehow he makes us laugh about it.
Jamie Dimon is considered the smartest guy on Wall Street, and he just lost 5 BILLION dollars. He gets paid 23 million a year to lose 5 Billion? I’ll do it for 1/2 that. So he had to go on Press The Meet to explain that it was just a goof, and not a systemic problem with unregulated banking that is backed up by taxpayer money.
He spews a lot of bullshit with a blue collar accent, but don’t wory, David Gregory was there to ask him all the tough questions. That last part was a joke.
Bill OReilley is a no-nonsense millionaire who is not afraid to publicly shit on the poor , and thereby gives thousands of other soulless douchebags the permission to do the same.
This week Bill lectures us that if someone is poor, it is because there is a reason. Wanna guess what the reasons Bill gives for poverty are? I wonder if its their own damn fault?
Mike MacRae is on fire this week,! Ron Paul announced he has stopped actively campaigning and it gives us the perfect excuse to have Mike to his hysterical Ron Paul impression, that may be a show favorite. We learn the 4 rules of Ron Paul: three are funny, one racist.
We go back into the archives to talk with Jese Ventura and what he would do if he was allowed into the Republican debates. If you have never had the pleasure of laughing at James Adomian’s impression of Jesse Ventura, you are about to.
Steve Rosenfield has some tough words about “bullying”: “It gets better, but not much”. It is a hilarious look at bullying that gets the show off to a flying start!
Sean Hannity has some heartfelt advice for people who are going poor and food insecure: “Eat more beans and quit whining”. Of course you know that I’m not kidding. Fox News seems to have an endless supply of millionaires willing to go on T.V. and lecture poor people on how good they have it.
Nobel Peace prize winner Barack Obama is being accused of bragging about killing a guy. No matter, everyone comes to his defense to remind you that putting out a contract hit requires real courage and moral fortitude, even Jesus said so.
Bill Oreilley and Congressman Peter King agree that torture is totally cool and the courageous thing to do. Bill calls in three time to let us know that yes, Jesus is super pro-torture.
The War on Women is a real thing that is happening in congress and republican controlled legislatures all across the country. Mitch McConnel says its not happening and he has four republican women that agree with him. Except they don’t, and then we call Mitch to hear how out of touch he can be. Turns out, bat-shit-crazy-out-of-touch.