Jerry Sandusky is trying to prove that he’s a good guy and not a molester by repeatedly telling people how much he likes hanging out with kids. Here he is also tryiing to get his bail conditions eased. His house butts up against the back of a school and a children’s playground, and neighbors have complained that he is on his back porch when the children are on the playground. He is not allowed out of his house, or do any of the usual things he used to do , and he just doesn’t understand why.
He wants you to know that he is definitely the victim here. I was waiting for him to say “This is the thanks I get for teaching all those kids how to shower?”. I imagine if I talked with him our conversation would go something like this”
Sandusky: “I don’t get why I can’t just do the things I used to do in my community.”
Me: “Because Jerry, you’re accused of raping children.”
Sandusky: “Yes, that is one thing I used to do in my community.”
Below are a few of my favorite quotes from his press conference:
“I have been associated with thousands of children over the years”. Yeah, and some you weren’t even attracted to.
“My friends want to see me and spend time with me, and I have to tell them I can’t”.. – But did you tell them the reason you can’t see them is cuz you are busy staring at the kids next door on the playground.
Now I have often wondered what kind of a horrible lawyer keeps letting their client speak like this on camera? But for all I know we could be witnessing the single greatest piece of lawyering in history. See, by the time Sandusky walks into court, they will have hours of news footage of him proving he is too incompetent to stand trial. And if that doesn’t work, an appeal based on incompetence of counsel seems to be a lock.
So you are telling me that someone who teaches people how to make donut-burgers has developed diabetes? What a shocker! The next thing you are going to be telling me is that CHris Christie has heartburn.
But wait, now she claims she has always preached “moderation”, no kidding, just watch, she does it with a straight face too:
Of course she preaches and practices moderation, thats why she is morbidly obese and developed adult diabetes. Got it.
Sure she eats in moderation, and then if she is still hungry, she eats everything else.
I can’t think of a better way for an organization fighting charges of rampant and systemic pedophilia to advertize itself, can you?